I Fought the Demons - And I Won!

It was a hard fought battle!

Racing is supposed to be fun. We don't get paid to go out on the weekends and ride around as hard as we can for 2+ hours, so it should be fun. Right? Then how come this race got in my head so badly, making the nerves and anxiety what I remember most?

I like the Winding Trails course a lot, and was really looking forward to this race - especially after a really good solo MTB ride during the week prior. I had heard about changes to the course, and on pre-riding, determined that they were for the better - more twisty windy singletrack, but even fewer places to recover. It was going to be an all out sufferfest for sure.

The nerves and anxiety started on the line. I have always done well at this venue - winning twice, and finishing second one other time. I looked around at the women in the Cat 1 field, and was suddenly intimidated. What if I didn't do as well this year? My nemesis, Sue L was here - I can't beat her, was what I told myself (in my defense, the last time Sue raced here she beat all of the Cat 1 and Pro women, and put 11 minutes into my time). I wasn't where I wanted to be on the start line. It was going to be tough, and the mental demons were waging a war that they were intent on winning.

Thankfully, on the whistle, the demons quieted their war temporarily - enough for me to focus on getting a good position going into the singletrack. Oddly, as the first woman on the trail endoed on the log in front of me, cursed like a sailor, and then cut me off as she got back on her bike, it was me telling her that she needed to be calm. Me - 1; Demons - 0.

With only two young'uns off in front of me the first lap, I went hard. Too hard (and I knew it). Approaching the finish of the first lap, I knew that Sue was gaining on me. Then, she passed me, and I couldn't counter. I had gone out too hard for the first lap, and it wasn't going to be sustainable for another 3. I watched her ride away, and never saw her again. Me - 1; Demons - 1.

I pressed on in the second lap and was surprised to be passed by another racer late in the lap. I was now in 3rd place. Me - 1; Demons - 2. This wouldn't do. I had resigned myself to 2nd place before the race even started, but I was intent on NOT finishing 3rd! I got my head back into the race, and out of the war to chase her down and pass her back. Me - 2; Demons - 2.

Despite lapping traffic (including causing Mike to bobble and slow as he tried to get by me - never a good thing to get in the way of your spouse ;)), I managed to stay in front of the remainder of the women for the rest of the race (although in the final lap, I could certainly see people gaining, and had to put in an extra effort to maintain my position). I crossed the line in 2nd place - goal achieved! Me - 3; Demons - 2. Sue bested me by 6 minutes (hey - this is an improvement!), and I managed to hold off the next woman in my field by a mere 32 seconds. It was a victory with a slim margin, but I would take it.

In the battle of me vs. the demons, it appears that I won ;).

Finding Zen

I had a long day in the office, I was cranky, and the last thing I wanted to do was ride my bike. Add that my trusty riding companions couldn't join me, and I was even less motivated ('cause I REALLY didn't want to go and suffer with the boys!). There was a time when any one of those would have kept me indoors - especially the thought of going out and riding in the woods alone.

I still suited up, strapped on the helmet, grabbed the bike, and went out the door, fully expecting I would ride just for an hour or so - enough to say I had done it.

But once I was on the bike, and finally into the woods, things changed. It was quiet - just me and the bike. I focused not on the results of the day or the week, but on the trail stretched out before me - leading me further into the woods. The bike wanted to ride, and who was I to hold it back?

I became one with the bike - floating over the rocks and roots, nailing the turns, clicking, shifting and pedaling without thinking. I was savoring the woods - I didn't hear the traffic, and was only interrupted from my zen-like state a few times, while passing other riders out for the same reason. A quick hello, and we passed, each off to continue to get the most out of the ride.

I cleaned the Smash Your Hooch trail from end to end, and let out a small whoop of joy. I smiled as I rode the Gravity Cavity, past the Mini Mangler, across the Bridge Too Far, both directions on the Refrigerator Door trail. I was muddy and I was happy, and grinning while I rode.

As the sun finally started to dip, I heard in my head the voice of my mother from my childhood. "You need to come in. It's getting dark out." So I did what every good kid in the same situation would have done - rode one more trail, just because, and then took the long way home.

When the Cat's Away...

OK. So the cats stayed home and Mike and I went away. But, I specifically told them both that they were to be NO PARTIES while we were gone, and that if there were, we would find out about it. Apparently, they weren't listening, or thought the consequences wouldn't be too harsh...



Sure enough, we received the photographic evidence of their shennanigans. But how can you stay angry at such cute kittens? And who among us hasn't tried the same thing at one time or another?

April Fools

One of my all time favorite April Fools jokes growing up was to get up early, and then tell my little brother that it had snowed overnight. I'm not sure why, but every year when I said this, he would get up and look out the window, and I would yell "April Fool"! He didn't think it was funny.




This morning, I don't think it's funny either. The overnight storm waffled an apple tree in the backyard as well as dislodging a huge limb from a maple tree that just missed a fence.

Enough already - this really isn't funny!

Lemon Meringue Pie Day

I officially declare today to be Lemon Meringue Pie Day!

This was my brother's favorite dessert, and today, he should have turned 40. I should be calling him, giving him a VERY HARD time about getting old, and turning the big 4-0. He should be replying that I'll always be older (true!), and twisting the tables by commenting on my gray hair ;).

Instead, I celebrate his birthday eating his favorite dessert, and remembering all of the good times we shared. The pie, and the memories, are both delicious.

Happy 40th Brad!